The things that a modern-day woman has to face

Retaining her maiden name after marriageWhen a woman decides to get married, she has to still fight to retain her maiden name — something that forms her identity. She is expected to take her husband’s name by default, even if it means losing a part of her. Isn’t it high-time people understand that what one does with their name is completely upto to them? Isn’t marriage about two people coming closer, rather than taking away your rights as an individual? No one can and should reinforce traditions.Not wearing symbols of matrimonyFrom time immemorial, women have been told what to and what not to wear. And nothing has changed. Even now, eyebrows are raised if a woman chooses not to wear symbols of matrimony — sindoor, mangalsutra, toe rings, nose pin, a bindi or a certain kind of bangles because it is imperative that she ‘looks married’. These become the basis of how the woman is judged as a wife. No surprises that a man is not expected to don any symbol of matrimony. Isn’t it important for him to look married as well?Choosing not to get married or have kidsThe natural progression of a woman’s life is to get married and have kids by a certain age. If you are one of those who chooses not to get married, or even worse, not have kids, then you are all too familiar with facing the non-stop barrage of questions and taunts thrown at you from everyone from your parents, aunt and the neighbourhood istriwaali! References to your biological clock spring up at every opportune moment, regardless of the topic of discussion, as they try to convince you to awaken the wife and mother within you.A married woman visiting her parents without permissionEven in this day and age, women are expected to take permission from their husbands and in-laws to visit her parent’s house. Mind you, not inform them, but ask for their permission. Sometimes, in-laws also decide how long the women can stay with their parents.Working lateMany times, staying back late at work is inevitable. However, independent women still have to face the wrath of parents/ in-laws if they need to stay out beyond their ‘curfew’. On the flipside, if a man has to work late then he is hardworking, period.Letting younger siblings get married before herIf a woman lets her happily-in-love younger sibling get married before her, it is seen as a big deal because the society starts seeing you as a reject of sorts. Of course, it doesn’t seem to matter that the woman might just want to take her time and not take the plunge because she wants to concentrate on her studies or career.Supporting her parents financially after marriageThe woman supporting her parents financially after getting married is a big taboo, even if she had supported them as a bachelorette. While it is completely fine to do so with your in-laws, financially supporting your own parents, who have invested so much in your upbringing, is looked down on. Did we hear someone say double standards?